To whom it may concern,
For the last 21 years and 9 months, I’ve had a friend. You may know her as Sharmini or Mrs.M. To me she is “Maaaaaaaaaaa”. From age 4 through to maybe 12, to be perfectly honest, I plotted her death multiple times. Nobody screams like my mum. She also packs a mean open-palm. But as I’ve grown older and not taller, I’ve realised it was because she was the main gal in my corner, screaming for me to push myself as all mums do – mine just had a set of lungs. Now, I have serious attachment issues concerning my Mum.
Not even joking, NYE 2013 was the first that I’d spent away from her. It was initially traumatic. Before you judge me, yes I have been away from my mother -_- . My mum moved to Sydney in my last year of school and she lived there until July of last year. But this meant that we’d always made an effort to be together for Easter, Christmas and NYE. So this year when my friends told me we were going on a road trip to Mangawhai I had seriously mixed feelings.
I had to consult my friends Stef (fellow sufferer of attachedtomother syndrome) and James (an intelligent friend who happened to be online at the time of my anxiety attack) to make sure that I wasn’t doing the wrong thing by going away, abandoning my mother if you will, at the start of a New Year! My mum didn’t give a crap. She told me to leave so she could get some peace and quiet.
The drive there involved 3 texts from me detailing the drive, obviously. She replied with “kundi xxx” (Bottom in Tamil (weird pet name… don’t ask) xxx). This made me even more mum-sick. The only option was to drink copious amounts of alcohol. That’s right mum. I blame you. At 12 am on the 1st of January 2014 I called my Mum to wish her!
She didn’t pick up. She called 20 minutes later and told me that she was at a party and she looked amazing. She then sent me a couple of selfies to prove it.
I don’t even…just…no words.
Today is Mama bear’s 50th Birthday. If you see her, tell her she doesn’t look a day above 60. She’ll hate it. It’ll be hilarious. I’ll laugh. Unless she hits me. Then the laughing will cease.
You are so weird. Thank God, you would’ve never understood me otherwise. When you doubt yourself and you feel down (like that time you thought you were losing your ability to balance because you’re getting older, and then proceeded to practice balancing on one foot at random times around our house…seriously, what the hell Ma) Just look at yourself through my eyes. You’re my Superwoman. My best friend. This is getting very lame now.