To whom it may concern,
I know. I’ve slacked off. Well, I’m sorry, I’ve been too busy living my life. I’m lying- I have however finished all 4 seasons of Game of Thrones and wow, 13 years of all-girls schooling, including a year of boarding did not prepare me for the amount of boob action going on there. George R.R. Martin didn’t just have a Freudian slip, that dude somersaulted onto a bed of incestuous relationships.
Anyhoo, I turned 22! Not the Taylor Swift version! The real life version where we refrained from dressing up like hipsters, make fun of exes and/or fall in love with strangers. What are you doing with your life Swift? No, no instead I opened a joint flat account with my brother and started budgeting for water/power bills. It’s a real party. Although I was disheartened by my final exam for the semester being at 9 am, the thought was considerably overshadowed by my brother waking me up with a cupcake, and roses, singing what apparently was his rendition of ‘Happy Birthday’ feat. Mother Masilamani on Facetime. Bless. The celebratory night that followed is a blur of best friends, Moscato, cake, more Moscato, cheeky drunken kisses and even more Moscato. It was breath-taking. And by it I mean the spanks I had to wear to get into my birthday dress. Exam stress-eating was not kind, am I right ladies? No? Get out.
I appear to be settling into my old age a little too well. Avoiding late nights out, being overly enthusiastic about furniture shopping, pretending to like coffee etcetera. Old age appears to have caught up to me a little too much because when drunken kisses later eventuated to a proper date and a cute fumble of hand holding lead to him noting “wow your hands are colder than mine!” I responded with “yeah, they’re always cold. Like my grandma’s. I have Grandma hands”. Just reelin’em in.
I’d love to keep chatting but honestly, I think by now you’ve all lost any respect for me and stopped reading.
It’s good to be back,