Someone forgot to tell me when PT sessions at the gym became a full blown therapy session.
PT: “What do you want to get out of this session?”
Me: *Give me a Mila Kunis Body now*
“Just want to get my fitness up”
PT: “How’s your nutrition?”
Me: *I could destroy a medium-spicy chicken burger combo from Maccers with a Fanta (no ice) right about now*
“It could do with some work”
PT: “Well I’ve found this 30-day shake cleanse that has really helped curb my over-eating”
Me: *Oh god*
PT: You basically have a shake in the morning, a boiled egg for morning tea, regular lunch, a celery stick for afternoon tea and a shake at night for five days then over the weekends you just have the shakes. The presidential package costs around $720.00 but its worth it.
Me: *wtf…who is paying $720 for a celery stick? I don’t wanna brag but I can chew solids now*
“I think I might try and get into the discipline of working-out regularly first…”
PT: “Yes good call – let’s ease into it. How about we measure you now?”
Me: *Bitch, I will eat you*
“Yeah let’s do that!”
PT: “Just raise your arms and i’ll measure around your belly”
Me: *Treasure tum – you’re measuring my treasure tum*
Let’s start with the leg press – how does that feel?”
Me: *I want that burger*
“Great, I mean its hard – I can already feel the burn but its good”
PT: “Um… this is just your warm up”
PT: “Cool, think you can give me 15 burpees now?
Me: *You know what, Forget Mila Kunis – i’ll settle for an out of shape Tyra Banks – she’s still hot, its fine*