Square one – Re-starting the fitness journey.

Someone forgot to tell me when PT sessions at the gym became a full blown therapy session.

PT: “What do you want to get out of this session?”

Me: *Give me a Mila Kunis Body now*

“Just want to get my fitness up”

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PT: “How’s your nutrition?”

Me: *I could destroy a medium-spicy chicken burger combo from Maccers with a Fanta (no ice) right about now*

“It could do with some work”

PT: “Well I’ve found this 30-day shake cleanse that has really helped curb my over-eating”

Me: *Oh god*


PT: You basically have a shake in the morning, a boiled egg for morning tea, regular lunch, a celery stick for afternoon tea and a shake at night for five days then over the weekends you just have the shakes. The presidential package costs around $720.00 but its worth it.

Me: *wtf…who is paying $720 for a celery stick? I don’t wanna brag but I can chew solids now*

“I think I might try and get into the discipline of working-out regularly first…”

PT: “Yes good call – let’s ease into it. How about we measure you now?”

Me: *Bitch, I will eat you*

“Yeah let’s do that!”

PT: “Just raise your arms and i’ll measure around your belly”

Me: *Treasure tum –  you’re measuring my treasure tum*

Let’s start with the leg press – how does that feel?”

Me: *I want that burger*

“Great, I mean its hard – I can already feel the burn but its good”

PT: “Um… this is just your warm up”

Me: *dies*

PT: “Cool, think you can give me 15 burpees now?

Me: *You know what, Forget Mila Kunis – i’ll settle for an out of shape Tyra Banks  – she’s still hot, its fine* 

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