14. Day one – An attempt at an insta-filtered life

To whom it may concern,

Never in my life have I kept up with a New Year’s resolution or even remembered it a month later. This resolution is different; it’s an attempt to live the life of people we all envy, those who appear to have it all. Except there’s a lot of effort involved. I don’t mean having it all in the material sense but those out there who have their life “sorted”, their shit together if you will.

For the next 6 weeks, I will attempt to live the insta-filtered life that is constantly shown to us with ludicrous descriptions e.g. Lazy morning. Breakfast in bed #parfait. Cue picture of emaciated legs in an all-white bed with a parfait on the bed. Woman, you got out of bed and made yourself a parfait, got back in bed, took a well-lit and filtered photo and engaged in social media. Don’t lie to me. When I have a lazy morning I’m in bed thinking about how long I can stay snuggled before I pee myself.

I will reveal the hard work it takes to live this “balanced lifestyle” of managing it all: work/social life/experiencing culture through new books, films/eating healthy-ish/working out/have some form of spirituality grounding me so I don’t become a serial killer and you can feel better about yourself. The hope of this project is really a way to disguise working out and eating healthy as a social experiment to keep me interested and accountable. I promise to give you the un-adulterated truth of the struggle and nothing more. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit so by the end of this experiment I may be the girl you envy on Instagram because she’s got a parfait but chances are I won’t be.

With all goals come planning – work somehow worked its way in 6 days out of this week but the trick is managing the rest. My gym Contours Greenlane has given me an amazing 2 months free membership and tomorrow they offer a class called ‘Total Sculpt’. It is described as a total weight training workout designed to tone and define the body while also improving muscle balance and strength – neither of which I have. It will improve my posture, increase my currently non-existent lean muscle and see that my body fat melt away.

For someone who considered carrying her cello from the car to the house a full arm workout only one word comes to mind. It’s a bad word. Today also marks the start of a book my dad gave me, which I promptly neglected ‘ the Same kind of different as me’ which is about the sweetest title I’ve heard.

The goals of this week are starting off reasonably doable:

To attend 2 ‘Total sculpt’ classes

Workout 2 more times

Discover the delightfulness of a homemade smoothie

Start and finish the book

Work 6 days a week

Not to die